Your attendees are walking in with worry, desperation and downright angst in their faces. The truth is that they are terrified – but you can help them through their fears.
Call it “icebreakers,” “warming up the audience” or simple “housekeeping” about things like beverages and the format of the workshop – in all cases, the fastest track to earning the trust of your attendees is by helping them understand that they aren’t alone, you are there to help them, and they’ve come to the right place.
Here are some tips that have worked for us over the years:
- Second Saturday was born for one reason: Candace and Ginita care:
As a Second Saturday Leader, you are an integral part of a rapidly expanding network of divorce workshops, and over time there will be a workshop within driving distance of everyone in America.A program of WIFE.org – the nation’s longest running non-profit devoted to female financial literacy – Second Saturday is a true “virtuous circle.” After paying minimal operating expenses, the fees go toward charitable endeavors and are also used to expand the network. To date, Second Saturday has raised over $300,000 for charity and has helped over 10,000 individuals facing divorce. Attendees know they are helping others at the same time they are helping themselves. As a Leader, you can choose to donate a portion of your attendance fees to WIFE.org or any cause that resonates with your community.WIFE.org and Second Saturday founders Candace Bahr and Ginita Wall are nationally known advocates who have been honored as KPBS Heroes, recognized as part of National Women’s History Month and have received more accolades than we can possibly count for their non-profit efforts. - Confidentiality:
Let attendees know that nothing shared at Second Saturday ever leaves the room, and ask that all attendees respect this confidentiality. - Introductions: To create a true sense of community, let your group know that although everyone has a different story, they are all in this together. Ask attendees to turn to the others around them, shake hands and introduce themselves.
- Share a brief “Heartache to Hope” story:
As a Leader, chances are you have had personal experience navigating a divorce or know someone who has. Even three to five minutes about how someone survived the ordeal and how that inspired you to start a Second Saturday workshop helps your audience know you are doing this for the right reason – and that you may have been in their shoes. Stress the “you are not alone” and community aspect, and continue assuring them that they’ve come to the right place. - Help them discover gratitude:
There is always something good that comes out of crisis, whether it’s that friends or family have stepped up to help, that they found the workshop or that they’ve discovered new love for their goldfish (humor can be helpful). Ask them to share different things that have helped them cope like church, yoga or any form of exercise. - Music and snacks:
Veteran leader Melanie Johnson of Austin plays Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” as women are signing up. She asks, “Who remembers this song?” and gets the women talking. Melanie also brings muffins, water and fruit that women can grab before sitting down. - Candy coating: There is nothing candy-coated about divorce, but there’s also nothing like a good piece of chocolate. Veteran Leader Donna Cheswick in Pennsylvania has a bowl of candy ready, as well as name tags for each attendee complete with different stickers. [What do the stickers signify? Without explanation this is mystifying.] She also hands out a “Divorce Survival Guide” that she put together over the years.
- Know your audience: Understanding how many in your group have minor children, are bigger earners than their potential “ex” or the makeup of their families will help you adapt your seminar to your group. For example, if only a few attendees have minor children, your presenters can spend less time on that topic.
- Take measure:
New Leader Bob Bordett in Florida and Atlanta shared a terrific icebreaker: “I went to Home Depot and got one of those forty-foot, reel-it-in tape measures. I asked one of the women to hold on to it, and I literally walked out of the room to what represented forty feet— forty years of life after your divorce. I just asked one woman to reach out in front of her, one foot down that tape measure. I said, “Right now that one foot looks awfully difficult – but look at all those feet you have left in front.” It’s a great visual perspective.
The point is that icebreakers do “break the ice” and give attendees comfort – feel free to use any of these or make up your own. We’d love to hear what you come up with.
Thank you to Melanie, Donna and Bob for sharing your terrific tips.
Yours in continued success,
Candace, Ginita and Elizabeth